I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
