hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
