If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
