turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
