and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
