As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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