I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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