Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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