I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
