cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
