i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
