She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
