He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
