Will you blow on my dice?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
