Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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