HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
