Kareoke will never be a sober sport
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
