I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
