How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
please don't ironically join a cult
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