Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Randomize
