Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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