spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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