we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
