he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
