So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
