Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
