I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
