like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
