Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
