Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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