Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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