Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
