HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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