I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
