Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
