So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
