she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize