how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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