If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
