I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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