Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
