girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
