they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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