she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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