so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize