Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
