Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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