this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
