Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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