I'm really into asian looking animals
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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