Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He felt like a one man threesome
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
