I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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