I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
