I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
